Reel Big Swift
Wondering why we ever bother with love if it never lasts etc
HAPPY END OF TAYLOR SWIFT’S MYSTERY PASTEL VOMIT COUNTDOWN WEEK!
What do you think is happening on 4/26?
If we don’t get a single, I will be very upset and I imagine Taylor will destroy a lot of the goodwill she’s built up in the last year. She is performing something at the Time 100 gala tonight. Allegedly this truly horrendous guitar is involved.
I have gone on record stating that my ideal direction for #TS7 is ska. In lieu of that, I hope she works with a least one woman! Tay has slowly stopped working with female collaborators, and while I will defend reputation until I’m dead and buried like Nils Sjoberg, it’s overdue for her to not just work with the Jack Antonoffs of the world who say they are “a straight man with, like, lesbian chemicals.” Bring back Liz Rose for “All Too Well” Part Deux!!! Duet with Haley Kiyoko!!!! Consider a horn section!!!!!!! Whatever you do, don’t sing about sock designer Kanye West.
Source: Taylor Swift/YouTube
We do know she’s very into blazers now, which is cool!
Congratulations to Gigi Hadid on her denim themed birthday party!
As for the actual single, it looks like she may have collaborated with Bloodpop on a song called “New Man.”
Most of his work does not suggest the the return to teardrops on her guitar people seem to really want for Taylor. He’s known for working with Bieber, Madonna and TRISSUES FAVE Grimes. Plus my fave Charli XCX song. Buuuut, he’s also worked with John Legend and gets credits on most of Joanne with Lady Gaga…an album I will defend! So working with BloodPop doesn’t mean Tay Tay doesn’t have her own Stripped Down I’m Authentic Album coming our way. Does that mean the live action Cats is Taylor Swift’s A Star Is Born????
This could also mean absolutely nothing! Remember when people thought Katy Perry was releasing a song called “1984” (her birth year) as a dig at Taylor, famously the only person born in 1989? And then nothing ever came of it. Registering a song doesn’t mean it will ever see the light of day, and I kinda doubt our lord Tree Paine would ever let this leak happen.
The only thing we know with any certainty is that whatever BloodPop releases next will be better than his most recent credit:
Meanwhile, Taylor and Joe Alwyn, who you may remember is a person who exists and even has a face according to some unconfirmed reports, are allegedly still going strong. But the same cannot be said for a few other famous couples.
The breakup that truly wrecked me this week is Phil Elverum and Michelle Williams and I maybe was a little catatonic with “I Felt Your Shape” on repeat for about an hour after I found out. If something seems too good to be true it probably is!!!!!
Adele and her husband, that man you forgot about, are over.
Skylar Astin and Anna Camp broke up. There have been tons of blind items about these two parting ways, so it’s not shocking. I’m sure Pitch Perfect fans, which apparently exist, are upset.
Michelle Branch married that dude from the Black Keys. I went to a Michelle Branch concert in 2017 and it was great and the girl standing next to me was kicked out of the venue for being too rowdy, which was a perfect thing to happen at a Michelle Branch concert in 2017. I am decidedly not a fan of his, but whatever, I hope they’re happy. Did you know one of Patrick Carney’s ex wives, Emily Ward, is best friends with Dakota Johnson? And her dad is married to Leonardo DiCaprio’s mom. And now she has twins with Giovanni Ribisi THE EVIL BEING THAT DUMPED CAT POWER. I mean, I’m glad Chan never got in too deep with Scientology, but how do you dump her????
Oh yeah, speaking of the Ribisis. Beck is getting divorced from Marissa Ribisi, Giovanni’s twin sister, after 15 years of marriage. We’ve known about this for a long time, but I feel need to discuss how Beck’s mom delivered Marissa and Giovanni every opportunity I have! Scientology is wacky!
Colin Jost and Scarlett Johansson are still terrifying.
Source: AccessHollywood/Instagram
TRISSUES RECCOMENDS
I loved this profile of JonBoy, the pastor turned celebrity tattoo artist, who dedicated Trissues readers will not be shocked to learn is a personal friend of Justin and Hailey Bieber.
“When I tattooed them together, they’d just gotten back together, and I was like, ‘Justin, you know I’ve been talking to your girl about you,’” JonBoy said. “He felt really happy about it. I remember praying for both of them before I tattooed them, and then before they left, Justin prayed for me. It was so special. I continue to pray for them. I remember Hailey being like, ‘Pray for us.’”
God bless!
Still listening to new albs from Weyes Blood and Jenny Lewis a ton with Priests, Control Top, and Emily Reo thrown into the mix. If you want more music recs via newsletters, subscribe to Kari’s newsletter!
Alright, I’m gonna go emerge my head in a bucket of sequins while I wait for whatever Taylor is going to put me though. If you ever have any questions you’d like answered, just reply to this message!
xoxo Tricia