Kourt and Bark: PART ONE...NEIGHBORHOODS
An ongoing series documenting how Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker's tongues became constantly entangled outside of their mouths
When people complain celebrity couples being exhibitionist, I must ask, why are you here? On earth? If blogger Kourtney Kardashian is not sucking the blood of a man I once saw perform with Pitbull and Sofia Vergara with my own two eyes, she is NOTHING to me. We have but one life to live, so give me Hot Topic Bennifer or give me death.
This Trissues Special Report is the first in a series of deep dives off the deep end exploring the TRUE LOVE of reality stars Travis Barker and Kourtney Kardashian, known collectively as Kravis.
I do think they’re fairly well suited for each other! Dedicated readers know I have a soft spot for Kourtney and my brattiness should be a tell that I was a pop punk kid. In my limited interactions with each of them, Travis was very warm and polite and Kourtney did not make eye contact in a way that didn’t feel like a choice, but a fulfillment of a higher calling, which is to say that I enjoyed their individual presences immensely.
PART ONE: NEIGHBORHOODS
Fontana, CA
Travis Barker was inspired at a young age play drums by Animal on the Muppets, which is very cute. His priorities in life crystalized early on: drums, Cadillacs and girls and have stayed that way, with family eventually making its way up there alongside drums, Cadillacs and girls.
To understand our man’s PDA proclivities, look no further than (and I say this with love) genuinely one of the worst books I have ever read, Can I Say: Living Large, Cheating Death, and Drums, Drums, Drums by Travis Barker and Gavin Edwards.
“Maybe it was like Pringles, where I couldn’t stop after one taste.” [On girls.]
“A vagina felt like hot jelly.” [On girls.]
“I had a girlfriend named Toni. We both loved metal, from Slayer to Guns n’ Roses. I carved her name into my leg with a razor blade and she did the same with my name. It wasn’t a suicidal move. It was just a way of marking myself up before I started getting tattoos.” [On girls.]
Travis worked whatever jobs he could that wouldn’t interfere too much with drumming, including a stint as a garbage collector where he eventually got in hot water for yes, picking up women on the Sanitation Department’s dime. Nothing but respect.
Eventually, he was able to focus on girls and drums and drums and girls full time after ska band The Aquabats recruited him to play drums in a neoprene costume. While the band was opening for blink-182, blink’s drummer got the boot midway through the tour and Travis sat behind the kit for both bands. He became an official member of blink just in time for the band to hit it big with Enema of the State in 1999. That same year, they were on the same Warped Tour lineup as the Black Eyed Peas, which I love.
Los Angeles
You might think there would be more information out there about the eldest daughter of one of the world’s most famous families. How many of our childhoods were recreated in The People Vs. O.J.? Yet, the eldest Kardashian was and arguably still is a cipher.
Here’s what we know: Sometimes she was mean to Kim. She went to Catholic high school. Although it’s a common misconception that her parents Kris and Robert Kardashian divorced due to his decision to represent O.J. Simpson who was on trial for killing her friend, Nicole Brown Simpson, the couple divorced in 1991.
She attended Southern Methodist University in Dallas for two years but graduated with a theater degree from the University of Arizona before returning to California.
At this point in their lives, the major thing the two appear to have in common is losing a parent far too young.
Travis lost his mother, who had nurtured his interest in drumming his whole life, to Sjögren's syndrome just before he began high school. Robert Kardashian died of esophageal cancer in 2003. I have nothing to say beyond how deeply that sucks and I hope they’re able to find solace in sharing that experience with the person they love.
Sorry, did not want to end on such a bummer note. But pop punk dad Mark Hoppus is cancer free! Luv ya, Mark!
xoxo trink-182
ps…here is a very long, evolving playlist 4 the season
Next week on Trissues Presents Kourt and Bark…2005, the year they both became reality stars.