It's a Toy Story baby just say yes...

I honestly don't know where I'm going with ths nt

Nothing on this earth has made me feel as deeply single as Toy Story 4. The plot, loosely, is that a lonely child makes a toy out of trashed (dubbed Forky and voiced by Tony Hale) that she loves more than anything else in the world. But Forky does not understand the concept and continues to hurl himself into the trash can because it provides the warmth he knows. Relatable!

This becomes an even greater issue when the family heads out on a road trip and Forky jumps out of a moving RV, forcing Woody to run after him. On the open road, they meet a cast of unwanted toys desperate for literally any person to want them (cue Mitski’s “Nobody”). Oh yeah, and Woody runs into his ex, Bo Peep, who was abandoned after a couple years in another kid’s home but has learned to be self-sufficient. HAVE I WALKED AWAY FROM THE ONLY LOVE I’LL EVER KNOW????? OR LET IT GO BECAUSE I WAS TOO PROUD TO FIGHT???? IS THERE REALLY SOMEONE, EVEN SOMEONE INSUFFICIENT, FOR EVERYONE??????

Perhaps it had that impact because I watched it immediately after Under the Silver Lake, a movie that I wanted to like because I liked It Follows a lot. Or maybe I told myself I loved it? I had a panic attack on the train ride home that I may have confused with love. That might be a pattern here.

Anyway, Andrew Garfield plays a guy who mysteriously owns a bed frame even though nothing he says or does indicates he would be able to make that happen for himself. Women are all extremely quirky and incredibly sexually available. He spends all his time being rude to his mom on the phone, not paying his rent, playing video games, stalking women, and engaging in conspiracy theories. This film is inexplicably three hours long and I spent the entire time resisting the urge to text my ex.

IRL, Garfield is dating a model/medical student named Christine Gable. Yawn! I wanted the rumors about him dating Rita Ora to be true. His spidey ex, Emma Stone, is still very much with SNL segment director Dave McCary according to a TRISSUES SOURCE.

Here’s Garfield is defining “bookworm chic” in basketball shorts per The Daily Mail.

And why not, please enjoy a few more of my favorite headlines from the week:

Ok but yes Under the Silver Lake! My big takeaway came at the end, when I realized a woman living in an underground doomsday cult was in fact LAURA-LEIGH of Vanderpump Rules fame. You may remember her as the sweet girl who Jax dated immediately after Stassi and therefore was treated like garbage by all the SURvers. She was a meth addict in recovery, and so Jax decided to dump her right after a 12 step meeting because she told him they made her feel better. K, Jax!

Laura-Leigh quits her job at SUR to go film a movie with Jennifer Aniston, which turns out to be We’re the Millers. It comes off as a glam sendoff, though, because at that point everyone on the show legitimately thought they had an acting career in their future. I wish nothing but the best for Laura-Leigh.

Meanwhile, Jax got married last weekend! To Brittany “Rowwwt in hale!” Cartwright, who he cheated on explaining, “If a squirrel looked at me with a fucking pussy I would have fucked it.” He dumped her, but they got back together, anyway.

They celebrated their newlywed bliss by going to Arby’s. Love is out there, kids.

xoxo Trasha