Hey, I just Met you, and this is crazy...
but get Jared Leto's severed head far away from me maybe!
Hi! No Trissues last week, I had a fever and could barely move. Foolishly, I did not realize this is the precise state this newsletter should be written in!
Do you still care about the Met Gala? Probably not, right? It is one of my favorite days of the year I cherish any opportunity to take a hard look at the people we choose to lift up and ask and fiercely debate whether or not they successfully read an invitation. This year was particularly rewarding because we all got to be impressed that beautiful boy Harry Styles read a book.
We can only hope the true repercussions of the evening will unravel in time! The cursed seed of Hiddleswift was planted in the hallowed halls of Metropolitan Museum of Art, after all! The elevator fight footage leaked in its own time and how it has rewarded us!
But also, what we have right now is so good! Are Janelle Monae and Lupita Nyong’o dating?????????????????????? They kinda acted like it!
Monae definitely was not hanging out with/generally acknowledging her long-rumored girlfriend Tessa Thompson…which seems like a both a confirmation of a relationship and breakup.
Some people said on Twitter that Janelle unfollowed Brie Larson, Tessa’s co-star in those movies I haven’t seen, but I’m unclear if she ever followed her. We do know that Brie recently-ish ended her engagement with Alex Greenwald of Phantom Planet fame. Yes, I’m comfortable typing the words “Phantom Planet fame” and that’s my truth. It was not particularly shocking that she split with her longtime boyfriend best known for penning The OC’s theme song after winning a Best Actress Oscar and landing a starring role in a ludicrously successful franchise. But maybe there’s something more!
Lupita’s love life thus far has been pretty under wraps. Remember when she was nominated for her Oscar the same year Jared Leto won for playing a woman in Dallas Buyers Club and then talked about 30 Seconds to Mars instead of the AIDS crisis in his acceptance speech? Everyone kept trying to make her and Jared a thing and my skin is still peeling off from the memories.
So yes, I am very supportive of all these Oscar winning/future Oscar winning actresses dating each other and never being rumored to sleep with Jared Leto again. The second part I want for all of us, actually. I am personally available to date former members of Phantom Planet. Rooney, even!
xoxo trashi
